S.A.L.T.I: The Calm Before the Saltstorm

There are only two sets of matches left before the playoffs. It is do or die time. Some teams put themselves in very good positions. Some messed up royally. And others we thought messed up but, because things are so bunched up in the middle that Jimmy Eat World is considering writing a song about it, still have a chance at sneaking in. Care to take a look?

There were several matches last week between teams vying for playoff contention. But no team helped their chances more than My Little Homie, owned by Breakfast. My Little Homie went into the week with a record of 6-5 and was right in the thick of the mess of six teams in the Koopa Kingdom Division with that record. However My Little Homie won their games against Termididdles (a record of 8-3 at the time) and Androgynous Anime Avatars (then 7-6) to push themselves to a record of 8-5 and one win away from locking in a playoff spot.

Another team that really helped themselves were The Nightmare Elite. Like My Little Homie they sat at a record of 6-5, though it was a bit less crowded in the in the Mushroom Kingdom Division as “only” 5 teams shared the record. They beat Super Luigi Bros (6-5) and January 10th (7-5) to jump up in the standings and also push themselves one win away from the playoffs.

Two other teams won both of their matches to keep themselves in contention. I said Fox Kids could never lose again and, so far, they’ve held up their end of the bargain pushing their record up to 6-7 and keeping them in contention for a playoff spot. Even better was Dimensional Shift who pushed themselves up to a record of 7-6, part of the cadre of four teams in the Koopa Kingdom Division with that record.

But all is not sunshine and roses. The playoff picture is still murky as ever. I ran through several scenarios and there are scenarios where several teams where many teams finish the season with 8-7 records and a good number of them get left out of the playoffs. More incredibly there are several scenarios that aren’t as unlikely as I’d like where LOTS of teams finish with 7-8 records and get into the playoffs.

This means that a few teams that I said had no shot at the playoffs if they got a single loss still actually have a shot. So, what do you say we look at the standings as we head into the final week?


As it now stands, I ran through the scenarios and couldn’t come up with a single one where you could get 9 wins and get left out of the playoffs. So, here are how things break down as far as the playoffs are concerned:


Teams that have locked up their playoff spots:

  • Dangerous to Game Alone
  • Star Blitz
  • Corpse Brigade
  • Musicians Unite
  • Fist and Fire
  • Termididdles

Teams that have been eliminated from the playoffs:

  • One Punnnnnnnnnch
  • Spiked Shells
  • Brain N’ Bronze
  • Guns N’ Roses
  • Bad Matchup
  • Twoo Wuv

“Get one win, an you are in” or “Lose out and get some help and your’e still in”:

  • Nightmare Elite
  • My Little Homie
  • A Little Weird, A Little Wild

“Get two wins, and you are in” or “Get 1 win and some help and you’re in”:

  • January 10th
  • Like Father, Like Son
  • Brothers from Another Mother
  • Princess Weh…
  • The Pointy End
  • Magnificent Capes
  • Androgynous Anime Avatars
  • Dimensional Shift

“Need two wins and some help” or “Need 1 win and A LOT of help”:

  • Super Luigi Bros.
  • Fox Kids
  • Peachy Queens
  • Mew2King & Abadango

Need two wins and A LOT of help:

  • Luma Naughty
  • Brobot
  • Transformers: Royals in Disguise

So that’s the playoff picture going into the final week. Things are tight and… there are going to be some amazing matches. For this final week, instead of organizing the matches by Divisions I’m going to pepper the matches in an order I think provides the most intrigue. With one exception (you’ll see it when you see the schedule) the order of the matches will go like this

  • Teams that have both been eliminated versus one another
  • A team that has locked in a playoff spot versus one that has been locked out
  • One team that is fighting for it’s playoff life versus one that has been locked out
  • One team that is fighting for it’s playoff life versus one that has it’s spot locked in
  • Two teams who haven’t locked in their slots

The one exception is the final match on Wednesday between my horrible team One-Punnnnnnch versus bladethecheetah’s slightly less horrible team Brain N’ Bronze. I figure we’ll need some levity after the high pressure stakes of the matches that come before it. So… the schedule for Tuesday and Wednesday:

As you can see, some teams have much harder roads ahead of them than others. Fox Kids has to win out to have a chance of getting in and, well, he’s going up against #3 Musicians Unite and #1 Dangerous to Game Alone. We’re going to find out if Fox Kids does indeed rocks kids.

January 10th has been on a spiral the past few weeks, losing close matches against Dangerous to Game Alone, Nightmare Elite, Brobot, and, worst of all, Big Chargy Balls of Death. They need to stop the bleeding but don’t exactly draw the easiest match-ups, going against Super Luigi Bros who will be fighting for their playoff lives and #2 ranked Corpse Brigade.

The Pointy End also have quite the challenge going up against #7 ranked Magnificent Capes and then against #1 Star Blitz. Then again, Magnificent Capes isn’t going to like having to go against #8 Androgynous Anime Avatars. And the #7 Brothers from Another Mother have to go up against both #6 Like Father, Like Son and #8 Princess Weh…? Oh and…


And there are far too many matches between teams in the middle for me to name them all. It should be an awesome way to end the regular season and sort who is going to the Playoffs and Antiplayoffs. The stream will, as always, start at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern both days and I hope to see you all there and active in chat!

But even if your team is already in or out, there are a few other intersting storylines unfolding in the stats. Several categories are tight at the top and bottom and it will be interesting to see who comes out on top (or bottom) in each category:

Damaged Received Per Death is a Bowswers only affair with JohnDenver, Jakkuna, and Fred all closely looking to grab the #1 spot. Things are very tight between Mr. L & Destroyer trying to vie for the best Lifespan. Our two Little Macs, Big Linux and Tachyon are still duking it out for top Do-Something ratio. And things are razor thin with Link, Phil Swift, Charizard, Tharja, and Super NES all very close for the best Hit Percentage.

The battle for Best Amiibo (determined by Average Margin-of-Victory Estimated Contribution or AvgMoVEC) is a strictly between Super NES of January 10th and Tachyon of A Little Weird, A Little Wild. What doesn’t look in contention at all is who is the Carry. Because Solana is currently the #64th rated Amiibo (read worst) there is a very real chance that A Little Weird, A Little Wild could have the best and worst Amiibo on the same team.

I’ve never seen any team have two Amiibo so unequally yoked. And I’ve run quite a few team Amiibo tournaments (okay… well, this is officially my 6th Amiibo team Tournament). So yeah… that’s weird. And a little wild. Huh. That name really did work for the team, didn’t it?

We can’t leave without bringing up the match PK GetRekt turned in for Blue’s team, Fist And Fire, on Day 12 versus…… my team, One Punnnnnch. My disappointment in my incompetent team aside, PK GetRekt put on quite the display with a statline of:

  • 4 kills, 1 death, 1 team kill, 696 damage given, 199 damage taken

That statline was good enough for 4th best single match all season (as determined by single game MoVEC). I don’t know how anyone will top S.T.O.R.M.’s number in the last two days but, hey, you never know.

Regardless of how horribule One Punnnnnch is, I’d like to point out that last Saturday, my team in SLAP Season 4, The Wiivengers, pulled off the biggest upset in SLAP history. They were the #11 seed going into the playoffs and pulled off upsets against #1 Corpse Brigade, #6 Pointy End, and #2 Anonymous Insomniacs (the defending champs) on their way to victory!

Okay, to be COMPLETELY fair, Anonymous Insomniacs defeated themselves more than the Wiivengers beat them. However, I’ve never won any of my own tournaments before so I’m taking it and the Season 4 trophy with me. No matter what happens, I am the champ and will be attempting to defend the title in Season 5 with my team, Wiivengers 2: Age of Amiibo.

It’s the same as Wiivengers, but it’s a sequel so… yeah. This is happening. So, if you’d like to join up, the deadline is Saturday, September 1st to get your teams in. I already have 29 teams signed up out of the 32 available slots so, simple math says there are only 3 slots left. So, if you’d like to participate in the Smash League of Amiibo Pairs- Season 5, go to the sign up sheet now and grab the slots up before they are gone!

At any rate, I’m highly looking forward to the end of the regular season. I hope to see you all in stream tonight! The next time you see me posting something, we will know exactly who made it in and who fell out of contention. Until next time…

Stay fit.
Keep sharp.
Make good decisions.
Splice out.


Post a Comment